Coping With Pet Loss During the Holiday Season
The holiday season has a way of stirring up memories—soft, sweet, unexpected ones that can land like snowflakes or hit like a winter storm. When you’re grieving the loss of a pet, those memories can feel especially tender. The lights, the music, the cozy moments you once shared… it all highlights the absence of your animal in ways that can be both beautiful and unbearably painful.
If you’re reading this because you’re facing the loss of a beloved companion and the holidays feel different (or impossible) this year, I want you to know this: your grief makes sense. You’re not being “too emotional,” and you’re not alone. Our animals shape our routines, our homes, our rituals, and our hearts. Of course, the season feels altered without them.
This blog is here to offer you warmth, validation, and a few gentle ideas to help you move through the holidays in a way that honours both your grief and your love.
Why the Holidays Can Intensify Pet Loss Grief
Grief isn’t linear—it curves, loops, retreats, surges, and sometimes shows up on days that were supposed to feel joyful or calm. The holiday season often amplifies things because:
✨ Traditions are disrupted.
No more wrapping gifts with a curious cat pawing at the ribbon. No more morning walks before the family wakes. No more stockings hung for every family member.
✨ The world expects happiness.
When everyone around you is cheerful, the contrast can feel sharp and isolating.
✨ You have more time to think and feel.
Slower days, quieter moments, and winter’s stillness sometimes bring up emotions you’ve been keeping tucked away.
None of this means you’re “going backwards.” It simply means you loved deeply—and that love is still looking for a place to land.
Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel
You don’t have to perform happiness to make the season easier for others.
You don’t have to smile through everything.
And you don’t owe anyone a “bounce back.”
Your grief is a reflection of your bond, and allowing yourself to feel it—without judgement—is an act of compassion toward yourself and your pet. Some days may be softer, others heavier. Both are okay. Both are normal. Both are valid.
Before you make holiday plans, try asking yourself:
What do I truly have the emotional capacity for?
What traditions still feel comforting?
What traditions feel painful or too soon?
What do I need most this year—rest, company, quiet, or connection?
Giving yourself permission to adjust your expectations is not a failure. It’s a form of self-care.
Create a Gentle Ritual of Remembrance
Honouring your pet doesn’t have to be elaborate. Simple rituals can bring grounding, connection, and a soft place for your love to go.
Here are a few ideas:
🕯 Light a candle in their memory
Place it on your windowsill, mantle, or near their photo. Let the flame represent the light they brought into your life.
🎄 Make or hang an ornament for them
A paw print, a photo, or a small charm. This can become a cherished annual tradition, even once the grief softens.
📝 Write a letter to your pet
Tell them what you’re missing, what you’re grateful for, and what the season feels like without them. Writing engages the heart and gives your emotions a place to rest.
🍬 Create a “favourite treat” moment
If your pet had a favourite snack, bake or purchase a human version and enjoy it in their honour.
❄ Go somewhere they loved
A favourite walking path. A sunny window seat. A quiet spot in your home. Sit with your memories there.
💛 Donate in their name
A bag of cat litter, a tin of treats, or a small monetary donation to a rescue or shelter can transform grief into kindness.
Navigating Holiday Events When You’re Grieving
You can attend, decline, or modify plans—whatever feels right for your heart this year.
If you’re attending gatherings:
Give yourself an exit strategy (drive yourself or plan an early departure).
Tell one trusted person ahead of time what you’re going through.
Step outside or into a quiet room if you need a moment to breathe.
If you’re hosting:
Simplify everything—food, décor, expectations.
Consider being open about your grieving. People will understand more than you think.
Create a structured “memory moment” if you feel comfortable—lighting a candle or acknowledging your pet’s place in your family.
If you’re skipping gatherings this year:
You’re not “ruining” the holidays. You’re honouring your limits, and that is brave.
Sometimes the most healing choice is to stay home with a blanket, a movie, and your grief.
Let Yourself Receive Support
Many pet parents feel their grief isn’t taken seriously—or worse, feel pressure to “get over it.” If someone dismisses your grief, it doesn’t make your bond any less significant. It simply means they didn’t understand what your pet meant to you.
Lean toward people who do.
A friend who also loves animals.
Someone who has experienced pet loss.
A support group.
A coach or counsellor who specializes in pet loss grief.
Online spaces where you can speak openly and honestly.
You deserve a place where your heart is met with compassion instead of minimization.
Guilt, Second-Guessing, and “What Ifs”
The holidays often bring up swirlier emotions—like guilt, regret, or replaying the end-of-life decisions you made. These feelings don’t mean you did something wrong. They’re an incredibly common part of grief.
If guilt comes up, try reminding yourself:
You made the best decisions you could with the information you had.
Love guided you—even if the choices were painful.
Every pet parent wishes they had “one more day.”
Missing your pet isn’t a sign that you failed them—it’s a sign of how deeply you cared.
Be gentle with yourself. You showed up for your pet in ways they trusted completely.
Honouring Your Pet in the New Year
As the holidays pass and a new year approaches, you might feel pressure to “move on.” But your relationship with your pet didn’t disappear when they died—it simply shifted. Grief isn’t a doorway you walk through and leave behind. It’s a relationship you continue in new ways.
Here are a few soft ways to carry your pet forward:
Start a memory journal with stories and photos.
Plan a yearly “anniversary ritual” on their gotcha day or their passing date.
Frame a favourite photo in a place that makes you smile, not ache.
Share your pet’s story with someone who loves hearing about them.
Love doesn’t end—it transforms.
If This Is Your First Holiday Without Your Pet
The first season without them can feel like walking into a room where you know something is missing, but you can’t stop looking for it anyway. It’s okay to feel confused, heartbroken, angry, relieved, numb, grateful, or all of these at once.
You’re doing the best you can inside an experience nobody is prepared for. You’re allowed to grieve in your own timing, in your own way.
And you’re allowed to honour your pet in ways that feel meaningful to you—even if nobody else understands them.
I’m holding space for you. Truly.
Call to Action
If you’re moving through the holidays with a tender heart, you don’t have to do it alone. I offer gentle 1:1 pet loss grief support, as well as support groups and resources designed to help you honour your pet and care for your emotional well-being.
